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Day 2
Let Forgiveness Flow
I chuckled when I read the words of one couple, “My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.” Certainly marriage brings out the biggest frustrations of life and forces us to grow and change. Some think being married means trying to change another person, but really its all about changing yourself. Forgiveness is one of the main ways.
Your spouse will hurt you, forget you, neglect you, and bless you. They will need your forgiveness, and so will you. Few realize it, but forgiveness is actually the best thing the hurt person can do for themselves. Revenge works great in chambara dramas, but its disasterous personal life and marriage. Its been said that “forgiveness is to set the prisoner free, only to realize later, that your yourself were the prisoner.” Why must we forgive? Because we will be happiest when we do. The temptation is to hold onto our grudge, to meditate on it over and over. We continue to rehearse it, but we must release it.
Years ago we moved to Tohoku and rented a house. Immediately our family, especially our small children were bitten by mosquitoes, but these were very different from the bites we’d had in the past. The bites became infected, after days they got worse and very painful. I began looking for the source of the mosquitoes to eliminate them. Sure enough in the garden was a spicket, and under that a metal grate. I lifted the grate and behold, squirming mosquito larva. I promptly with a satisfied smile poured boiling water into the nest, and things changed. We rarely got bit. But within weeks the larva were back again, of course I boiled more water. I learned that if I checked on the problem regularly, and destroyed the culprits early, we were safe. That’s how it is with marriage. Frustrations lead to anger, and anger leads to bitterness, and bitterness only breeds more of itself. We need to regularly check our hearts, lift off the metal grate in the garden of our heart and make sure nothing is wriggling there. If it’s allowed to grow, it will suck our blood, and the blood of our children. It will spread disease. It with rob our life. In many countries of the world a mosquito bite can be lethal, in fact, the little mosquito bite, smaller even than a pin-prick, kills far more people than the much-feared shark bite.
Learning to forgive can save your own life, and others besides. It won’t take away the pain of what happened, but it prevents it from multiplying, and offers something positive. As it’s been said, “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Is there something you need to let go of today? Do it.
Copyright © 2008 Andrew Meeko (Translated by Junko Meeko)
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