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Day 1
Practice Little Kindnesses
I have seen hundreds of happy marriages, and thousands of unhappy ones. If I could make one distinction between why they are happy, or not, it would be this:
The unhappy ones do something every day. Its often hardly even noticed, but it slowly poisons. Unhappy marriages do unkindness. They say unkind things or give unkind messages like, “I don’t like you.” “You’re not very smart or attractive.” “I can’t trust you.” They also do unkind things like, ignore their spouse’s needs, forget important responsibilities, blame or hold grudges, or in roundabout ways get even.
On the other hand the happy couples do something else every day. They do kindness. They use kind words and say things like, “You’re special”, “I like the way you do that”, “I admire you”. And they do kind things like “seek to understand their spouse”, “serve their spouse”, “give gifts and give grace”.
It’s so easy to be unkind. It’s also scary, because even just little un-kindnesses added up, will destroy a marriage—like little piranha taking thousands of little bites, leaving only dead bones. Kindnesses, on the other hand, are like drops of fresh rain on a garden. They cleanse it and moisten it. The garden turns a thousand shades of green. Flowers bloom radiant. It’s a place youl want to be..
Remember the simple and easy wisdom of Pascal, “Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.” And as someone else said, “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” So what little gifts of kindness can you give your spouse today?
Copyright © 2008 Andrew Meeko (Translated by Junko Meeko)
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